Another Sunset
I’m waiting to watch another sunset, this time over Hobart airport. I’ve seen a lot of sunsets and sunrises lately it seems. Maybe I’m just taking more notice of them, which would be a good thing. I can’t help but feel that it’s more because I have so little else to focus on in my life. Just occasionally I can feel the old wall of despair trying to push up and drown me. You never escape depression; it’s constantly on the lookout for a lapse in your concentration, a gap in your armour, and it will sweep in to take control again. Fuck. I envy those who’ve never had to fight it. It makes me wonder if it’s worth it, fighting an enemy than can never be truly beaten.
My plane is late. I wouldn’t mind if Maidel and her family weren’t picking me up at the other end, it was late enough already. Sods law. The moon is up, it’s full, and surreal in the pale blue sky. The clouds are surreal too, suspended above the hills, surrounded by peach. The reflection of the departure lounge lights in the glass makes it look like there are dozens of huge stars joining the moon. This doesn’t feel like Tasmania. Tasmania is meant to be different. I can’t believe I’ll be in New Zealand in 2 days. Home in under 4 weeks. I hope Dad isn’t in Skye. Don’t really know quite how to go about it all. If I still had Annes number I could see if she had a key. I don’t. Why is this the one flight that’s delayed?
It’s amazing how traveling makes you constantly want food. Actually, I think it’s only because I’m on a budget. Right now, I’d love a muffin and coffee from the place behind me, but not only can I not afford it, I’m also not allowed to due to my self imposed rule of not buying any cakes, biscuits or chocolate whilst I travel. Though I think the rule is helping, I was only 63kg when I weighed myself the other day. Generous scales?
My flight is still late. I still don’t know what to do with my life. The red has gone from the sky, and it’s now an icy grey, with mean looking clouds. The moon is shining brightly. Life goes on.
